literally had 100 drinks last night.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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