CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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