i don't like sucking hair
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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