Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
