Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
