11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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