i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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