how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
