I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
