sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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