I'm eating all of the evidence.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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