Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
