Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
