I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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