so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
