I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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