you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
