I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
