i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
