Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
