My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
