it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, beer. Big fan.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
