Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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