i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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