Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
