Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He passed out mid-signature
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
