She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
