That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
