happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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