I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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