Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
