you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
