1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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