so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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