I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
