you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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