also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
