i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
