so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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