Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
