I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
