i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
