But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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