Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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