yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
