I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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