I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
