Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she told me i tasted like america
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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