I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
