I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
