And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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